The Toymaker and the Doll
by Vixenkiba
Summary: Bofur questions himself and all of his stupid actions towards Bilbo Baggins. He wants to show the Hobbit his love for him, yet doesn't know how. A Bofur/Bilbo slash.
1. Chapter 01 - Thoughts

**The Toymaker and the Doll – Bofur/Bilbo (Boffins)**

**Chapter 01: Thoughts**

The party had been merry and joyful. They all had celebrated Thorin's awakening and their arrival at the Carrock from which they could see their home. Some time ago the last flames of the campfire had extinguished and all dwarves had gone to sleep and were now with their thoughts far away, in the land of dreams. All but Bofur. He could not catch the sleep and instead sat on the edge of the Carrock, from which he could see the shape of The Lonely Mountain, still far, far away. Bofurs thoughts had been with the past, when he had been a toymaker in Erebor, pleasing the dwarf-children of both the Mountain and Dale. With the Mountain so clear on the horizon, his longing for home had grown very strong. Yet this was not the only thing he longed for. His face turned toward a small person sleeping against a rock.

Bilbo Baggins. How he loved this Halfling. At first he had only thought of him as cute and very delicate and soft, like one of the dolls he had made in the past. Now, having seen more of this Hobbits personality and courage, his kindness and his smiles, his feelings for the Hobbit had grown to something he called love and he wanted nothing more than to take this person with him to Erebor and live together with him until death.

Bofur inhaled deeply the smoke of his pipe and exhaled it as a cloud high in the sky, floating away on the wind. He sighed. He knew he wasn't the most subtle person. He always blurted out things without thinking. Him and his big mouth. He really had to learn how to keep it shut. Thinking back on that first day he met the Hobbit always brought him a heavy feeling in his chest.

_Cheese knife? He eats it by the block! _

_Think furnace with wings!_

Bofur had loved all the confused and different expressions on the Halfling's face. He had loved to tease the poor fellow who didn't know what had come over him. Then he had grossed out the Hobbit by throwing an egg in Bombur's mouth. _Bombur, catch! _This was how they rolled. Then they had disgusted him with their beer drinking habits. Thinking about their eating and drinking habits again, Bofur found a lot of differences in their courtesies and manners, cultures as well. Bilbo had talked about his dishcloth being a Croquet… but Bofur had not understood what he meant and thought of it as a wonderful game. Apparently the Hobbit cared a lot about his dishcloth, something Bofur just couldn't understand. Sure, he cared about his hat, but that was a useful item. But not only dishcloths… Also his knives. Bilbo had not been too pleased at him 'blunting' them. And the worst had yet to come. Teasing Bilbo to the extreme, he had gone so far as to make the Hobbit faint. _Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you're nothing more than a pile of ash. _Great job, Bofur, great job.

Bofur was really ashamed of himself. He had not done many good things to make the Hobbit like him, in fact, when he tried to imagine himself being in the Hobbit's place, he could imagine the Hobbit being really irritated by him. To sum it up, he had teased the Hobbit quite a lot, mocked him by his singing, irritated him and made him faint. That was not so awesome when you actually had wanted to make a good impression. Bofur breathed out another cloud of smoke before putting his pipe aside. Curse him. Why was it always so hard for him to show affection and love for a person? He loved his brothers and teased them a lot, yet they knew how much he loved them. He had never succeeded in dwarves getting to love him in a romantic way. He had friends, and a lot of them, but never the line of friendship was crossed. He was a good talker and many liked to hear his stories, especially the children were very fond of them. Yet when it came to romance, he always said things he shouldn't and chased the dwarves away. He had tried to change this habit of talking and it had only made him nervous and uncertain of himself, so he had stopped trying. _If I am to find someone I want to share my life with_, he had told himself, _this person should accept me for what and who I am._

Now he was nervous and uncertain again. Bofur watched the sleeping Hobbit, so small and soft and delicate, like a real treasure to him. A doll so fine he would never be able to craft it, even if he had his whole lifetime to work on it. He wondered if he had hurt the Hobbit with his words and deeds and if his actions could be forgiven. After all, this was a Hobbit and not a Dwarf, and he clearly thought different on things as the dwarves would. And this made the case very difficult. Bofur wanted to show him what he felt, yet was afraid of his actions and words, and what the Hobbit would think of his way of living and thinking.

_Can I change myself just for him? _were thoughts going through Bofurs head. _What does he think of me? Do I even make a chance? _

Bofur saw that Bilbo shivered under his thin blanket. Many of their possessions had been lost during the hunt through Goblin town and now that the fire was out, it was pretty cold outside under the stars. Slowly Bofur got up and walked towards the Hobbit, trying not to step on a dwarf and trying to make no sound. He took off his coat and gently spread it out over the Hobbit, curled up on the ground. Bofur sat down next to him with his back against the stone to keep the wind off him if necessary. He smiled as he saw the shivering getting less and nearly melted when Bilbo at last sighed softly and went into a deep sleep. So cute. _I don't deserve having him, do I? _

There was one thing Bofur wanted to do as soon as he would get the chance. He was ashamed of his action when the Hobbit had joined them that first morning. Bilbo had sneezed and had asked for a handkerchief. Bofur had given him a ragged and dirty piece of cloth. Bofur now understood that had been really stupid for the Hobbit seemed to be very fond of handkerchiefs. As soon as he would get the chance, he would make him a new, clean and white handkerchief. Maybe that would clear things up a little bit.

At last, Bofur closed his eyes and fell asleep after a long while, pondering and questioning over himself and the Hobbit.

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Hello, Vixenkiba speaking here! I thought of finally uploading something to this account, since it was a little empty. I'm way too obsessed with The Hobbit and all the characters at the moment and writing a lot of stories about them, and I just felt like uploading this first chapter of my Bofur/Bilbo story now! I'm a huge fan of the couple. I'm also working on a Thilbo story, but that one isn't finished yet.

I'm actually just a beginning-writer... So I'm not all too confident about my writing. I hope people will enjoy it, and if there's any critique or feedback you want to give, be welcome to do so! I love receiving feedback, for it only helps me becoming a better writer in the future. :)


	2. Chapter 02 - Dreams

**The Toymaker and the Doll – Bofur/Bilbo (Boffins)**

**Chapter 02: Dreams**

_Bofur wandered through the mountains, jumping over rocks and moving over narrow paths along enormous walls of stone. Rain was pouring on his hat and coat and a many times he stumbled and slipped over pebbles and mud. He knew he had to hurry because Bilbo was in danger. Bilbo, he kept muttering to himself. Bilbo, Bilbo, Bilbo. With one hand on the stone wall and a gaping depth on his right he hurried along the path. Far beneath him, so far that it couldn't be heard, a river flowed in the valley. Thunder roared above him. He heard a scream. Someone was calling for help. Or was it the wind and thunder creating an illusion? When he walked around the corner of the stone wall he saw that he was most afraid of; Bilbo was dangling on the edge of the path, holding it with one hand. Hold on, Bofur screamed, the sound of his voice being overwhelmed by the cracks and roars of the storm. He hurried near, he was almost there. Bilbo caught sight of him and looked up desperately. Just a little longer Bilbo! Hold on! Bofur fell flat on his chest and reached for the Hobbits hand. Just a little bit further… He couldn't reach it… Please Bilbo, grab it! The Hobbit reached for his hand with his free hand, but needed only a few centimetres more. Panic spread through Bofurs body as he saw the Hobbits hand slip from the muddy rock. Bilbo fell. _

_Bofur! was what he thought to see from the Hobbits mouth as he fell. The sound couldn't be heard. Eyes great from fear burned in his mind. _

_Bofur…_

Bofur! Wake up!

With a jolt Bofur woke up. Panic seared through his body like madness and it took his eyes a few seconds to focus on the person in front of him.

"Are you okay?" His brother, Bombur, bent over him, clearly looking worried. Bofur looked at the sky, which was painted blue and purple from the upcoming sun. Then he remembered last night and with a twist he searched for a Hobbit lying next to him, who wasn't there. _Oh no. _His heart hurt. His mouth felt dry. He felt the sweat dripping over his face.

"Where's the burglar," Bofur asked, his voice cracking. Bombur straightened himself and sighed. "The burglar helped me make breakfast. He's with the others over there, helping us with the preparations for the long travel ahead." Bofur felt the panic flowing away from his body. It was all a dream. It had just been a dream. Bombur looked at him questioningly. "Are you sure you're all right? Ever since the fight of the stone giants, you've been acting like this, and I know exactly when you've had one of these moods in the past." Bofur looked up at Bombur. His brother was amazing. He didn't show it often, but Bombur was great at seeing through him and just knowing what was going on. Bofur put a hand on his brother's arm and smiled. "For now I am okay. I'll talk with ye once we're in a more… quiet environment." With this Bombur was satisfied and he walked off, saying, "If I were you, I would hurry up a bit. Thorin will be mad if we had to leave later because of you." Bofur called after him that he would be there in a minute.

Bofur sighed deeply and gazed at the Mountain far away. Slowly he calmed down. He took a piece of cloth and wiped his face dry, then emptied what little was left in his water skin in a draught. _I couldn't reach him. No matter how far I stretched, I couldn't even touch him. _

_So close to me, yet unreachable. _

Bofur looked up from his pondering when he saw two naked feet walking towards him. His face cleared up when he saw Bilbo, but his chest went heavy when he saw the worried look on his face. Bofur didn't know what to say.

"Good morning, Mister Bofur," Bilbo said uneasy, kneeling down next to him. He looked at Bofur and studied his face for some seconds before turning his gaze towards the food he had in his hands. "Uhm, I figured… that you might be hungry, so I… left some breakfast for you before the others would eat it all… They're all pretty big eaters," Bilbo said, sounding unsure.

"Thank ye, lad," Bofur said, accepting the food. "Ye know, ye're not such a small eater yerself," he continued, immediately regretting it. "I mean, what I mean to say is, for such a small person, ye sure eat a lot." Quickly Bofur stuffed his mouth with the food, hoping this would help him keeping his mouth shut for once. He didn't dare to glance at the Hobbit and was very glad when the Hobbit responded to it instead of immediately walking away.

"Yes, yes, I know, and I actually miss being able to have second breakfast. You know, Hobbits eat quite a lot more often than dwarves seem to." Bilbo smiled lightly. "I hope it's still tasty though… We didn't have much left to make breakfast of." Bofur looked at the uncomfortable face and quickly responded, "No, no, actually this tastes great!" He smiled widely and felt really warm when the Hobbit returned a smile at the compliment.

"Uhm," Bilbo continued, "Well… I'm sorry for not waking you up… You seemed to be in a rather deep sleep." Bofur went cold. He thought of the situation in which Bilbo had woken up. Next to him, with his coat spread over him. What must he have thought of that… When Bofur didn't reply to Bilbo's apology, Bilbo stammered, "I hope you're not mad about that, and I'm also sorry for, you know, having you sleep in the cold like that. I mean, that was very kind of you, to give me your coat as a blanket."

In surprise Bofur looked down and only now noticed he wore his coat again. "Did you…" he began to ask and immediately the Hobbit seemed uneasy again and began waving his hands and tried to explain the situation. "Well, when I woke up, you just seemed very cold and you were moving a lot in your sleep, muttering my… muttering things I couldn't understand, so I kind of, you know, put it on you again." To Bofur this brought back memories of his dream again and he shivered. And wait… He had talked in his sleep? What had he said? "You didn't understand what I said?" "No," said Bilbo carefully, "I figured you had a dream or something, so I just let you sleep." The poor Hobbit seemed more uncomfortable with each second and before Bofur could do something about it, the Hobbit stood up and stammered, "Well, I'll be going to the others, to see if I can be of some help there. I, uhm, I think we'll be leaving soon, just saying. Good morning." Then he walked off.

Bofur stared after him. He wanted to hit himself. He wanted to protect this person. Not to make him feel even more miserable after the happenings of the past week. Also, he had enough to think about now. Bilbo had seemed really uneasy next to him. Why was that suddenly? Was it something he had said? Well, no doubt about that, since Bofur said a lot of stupid things. Was it about sitting next to him? Were Hobbits not used to having people of the same gender that close to them? Or was it something he had said in his sleep that Bilbo had overheard… Bofur sure hoped not. Assuming the things he said when he was awake, Bofur didn't want to think about the things he could say in his sleep. _Will I ever understand anything of this situation? _

Bofur finally stood up at the shouts of Thorin, who gathered everyone to begin their journey to the base of the Carrock. He hurried to stand behind Bilbo. If Bilbo was to fall off the edge of a steep path again, this time Bofur would rescue him. He would protect him. He kept a close eye on every step the Hobbit made and slowly they progressed on their journey downwards. It was because of his keen observation that he heard the Hobbit's stomach growl. Bofur then remembered he still had a half of his breakfast in his bag, uneaten because he had not been hungry due to his funny-acting chest. He now reached for it and looked from the food to Bilbo, unsure how to give it to him.

He just wanted to ask if the Hobbit still was hungry. Instead he held the food in front of the Hobbits face and blurted out, "Here ye go lad, yer stomach makes enough sound to attract a whole pack of Orcs and Wargs from miles away. Eat it up before they come here and make food of us." Bilbo flinched at the words and looked over his shoulder at Bofur, to get a confirmation from his expression to see he was only joking. Bofur forced a smile, cursing himself for the hundredth time this morning. _I did it again._ Behind him, he heard Fili and Kili chuckling. After an angry look at the two over his shoulder, he tried again."I mean," Bofur began to say, but he stopped when Bilbo shook his head and said, "Thank you, Mister Bofur, but you'll be hungry if you don't eat that up." Bofur, not knowing what to do now, simply acted on impulse and shoved the food in Bilbo's hand. "Ah won't be hungry, you take it, little burglar. I mean… Please." At those words, Bilbo slowly closed his hand around the food and started to nibble at it, then eating it gratefully.

They finally reached the bottom of the high Carrock and everyone was glad nothing bad had happened. No stone giants had arisen from the rock, no thunder had roared around their heads and no gaps had suddenly opened in the rock where goblins could come out.

Kili walked past Bofur toward Thorin in front of the party, still chuckling. Fili then came to stand in front of Bofur and smiled his look-me-being-majestic smile, telling Bofur, "You know, the little guy had given up his breakfast this morning, for there wouldn't have been anything left for you. That was sure something un-hobbity for him to do, don't you think, considering how much they seem to love food?" With those words, he planted a hand on Bofurs shoulder, looking into his eyes, before walking away chuckling. He knew. He could've known they would know. Fili and Kili always saw these kinds of things. And now he had even more to think about. Bofur groaned. Bilbo had gone through so much trouble to give his own breakfast to him, and the only thing he had done was making stupid comments. There should be something he could do to make up for it.

Then he got an idea and shouted after Fili, "Fili! Can I help the two of you with hunting today?" Fili turned and simply nodded, having that understanding smile on his face. _Now it is my turn to do something back for the Hobbit. _He had many things to think over. Maybe the hunt would help him getting his thoughts together.

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This morning I looked in my mailbox and was really surprised to see the favourites, follows and reviews on this little story of mine. It made me really happy, so thank you all! I don't upload a lot of my writings, so seeing such an interest on this story feels really great. I hope you'll continue to like the story, and please feel welcome to give feedback, because it will only help me getting better at writing. *heart*


	3. Chapter 03 - Habits

**Author's note: **First, my excuses for updating after such a long time. It has been two weeks or so, I guess, which is a long time, but this simply couldn't be helped. I'm a student and univerisity simply happens to be very time consuming. If I take a lot of time to upload a new chapter, this is most often the reason! **Secondly, and also important, **I have been receiving PM's lately that ask me, even command me, for new chapters in a very upappropriate way, with only three words of 'english', e.g.: 'when new chapter?' or 'give new chapter soon'. I do not appreciate this, nor will chapters be uploaded any faster. Please respect my own timing of uploading; it also is a mere hobby of mine.

**The Toymaker and the Doll – Bofur/Bilbo (Boffins)**

**Chapter 03: Habits**

_Bofur, Bofur, just what were you doing? _he thought to himself, stretching and bending his right arm. It was sore and would still be tomorrow, together with a large bruise probably. He shouldn't be complaining; he had been very lucky. _Ah'm gettin' way too distracted by my feelings. I should have been more cautious. _

After a long day of traveling and hunting, it was now evening again. They had eaten a great meal – great because they were starved, otherwise they would have complained about eating rabbit _again._ Even Bilbo had eaten without complaint, throwing his table manners aside and stuffing his mouth full with meat. Bofur had greatly smiled at this sight and Bilbo had turned red from ear to ear, muttering an apologize with a full mouth. Normally Bilbo would discuss the preparation of dinner with Bombur, considering how to cook the meat and what spices to use. He hadn't got the chance today but still seemed very happy with his share of food. Bofur was very glad. To think of what he had gone through for that happiness of the Hobbit, and what he had gotten in return.

_Today was a hectic day…_

This morning, they had left the Carrock and followed Gandalf, who seemed to know just where to go. They had been distressed to hear Gandalf was going to leave them in some time and he had also remained mysterious about their next destination. All they knew was that it was still a while away, roughly two days walking to the east.

Their happiness had returned when they came by a ford in the river. Here was finally a place where the river was shallow at the sides, not being hindered by the stronger current in the middle. They were all dirty and hadn't bathed in what seemed like weeks, so they cheered and at Thorin's approval they took off their clothes and jumped right in. The only ones who didn't were Gandalf, who never seemed to take a bath, and Bilbo, who stood watching at the side, uncertain what to do. Bofur was already in. The water was lovely, even calm at this place in the river, and the water was clean coming straight from the Misty Mountains. Even the sun was shining bright, so it wasn't too cold either. What took Bilbo so long?

Then Bofur remembered Bilbo never bathed with them; he preferred to bathe alone. And even during the rare occasions Bilbo was with them, he separated from the others and was quickly gone. What could that be? Shyness? Or just one of these weird Hobbit-habits?

Dwarves weren't prudish when together, no, quite the opposite actually. Dwarves had no problem with bathing together, at least when it was with the same sex. With other races however, like elves and men, they had their courtesies about showing their body, like wearing multiple layers of clothing when they had a meeting to attend to. They had accepted Bilbo as one of their own, so they didn't mind him joining them with bathing at all, yet Bilbo did seemingly not think the same of that. That was a shame, Bofur thought. _Or do you just want to see him naked? _

Bofur turned around, away from the other dwarves, blushing heavily. _Ah should watch out with what I'm thinking… especially here! _They would all know what thoughts he had, if they saw him like this. Luckily, the water level came to their middle. To divert his thoughts he took the pieces of string from his braids and let his hair fall over his back. Taking a breath, he went underwater to wet his hair. It felt great to wash his hair again. Even with the braids, it had become quite dirty and muddy due to all the Goblin-fighting, rock-sliding and burning of pine cones.

Looking around when washing, all dwarves seemed to enjoy themselves. Fili and Kili were of course having a battle of who-could-make-the-biggest-wave and Thorin was actually smiling at the sight. Smiling. Thorin. Wow. His brothers, Bifur and Bombur, were helping each other with washing their complicated braids; one of the reasons Bofur was glad he had simply ones. He felt like he was being watched though.

It was Bilbo watching him, he noticed. Bilbo was sitting on a rock on the edge of the river, dangling his feet in the water, and actually observing the dwarves- well, now him in particular. Then suddenly Bofur felt a hand on his shoulder, which was Fili's. The young heir had also seen Bilbo's gaze, the Hobbit now looking at the clouds in the sky like he was totally interested in their shapes.

"Let's help him now a little bit, shall we?" Fili told Bofur with a wink. "Hey, Kili!" he shouted over his shoulder. Kili looked up, following Fili's gaze, and replied, "Roger!"

The two brothers approached the clueless Halfling from two sides and grabbed his arms, under a loud protest, ignoring his commands, like, "Hey! Put me down at once!" and more. The brothers just laughed and started to take the Hobbit's clothes off. The dwarves were much stronger than the thin and delicate creature, and it only took a little while for Bilbo to give in.

Kili laughed as he asked Bilbo, "Did you really think you could escape a bath? Didn't _your_ mother also teach you to clean yourself occasionally? Or were you one of these children who had to be caught because they didn't like baths?"

"Well, he _is_ the youngest of all of us," Fili mentioned, removing the Halfling's tie, "for this Hobbit is even younger than our little Ori there in the river."

"Really?" Kili asked, teasing Bilbo. "Are you a child?"

The Hobbit started protesting now. "You know perfectly well I'm an adult! It's just that you mature later than Hobbits do, and- hey, I can unbutton this shirt myself, thank you- and in mind, I'm much older than you, so stop it!"

Then Fili was in front of him, putting his hands on the Halfling's shoulders. "So then, be a nice obedient Hobbit like you mother taught you, or should we drag you in like your mother did?"

"I… n-no!" Bilbo stammered, blushing. "I can clean myself perfectly fine, thank you very much. I only prefer some privacy, as seems not the case with the lot of you!"

"So, you were thinking of only washing your feet then?" Fili asked while pulling off Bilbo's shirt. "There won't be any time to wait for you after we're done; we still have a long road ahead."

Bilbo looked defeated and groaned. "I don't see you dragging Gandalf in the river, naked, either."

"Of course not. He's a wizard." Fili replied.

"A wizard is never dirty," Kili quoted. "He is clean precisely when he means to!" Bilbo turned his eyes away from the widely smiling dwarf. "Then what do you call those clothes and hairs?" he muttered to himself. Fili started to work on his trousers. "No, thank you!" Bilbo interrupted. "I can do that myself! No, Kili, I won't run away!"

Bofur couldn't stop watching. Bilbo was undressing in front of his eyes, all of their eyes, unveiling a body he hadn't seen in all of his life. Sure, he knew the Halfling was less muscled than they were and a lot thinner too, but this body was just… beautiful. He couldn't compare it with anything.

He looked so soft and smooth. Bofur could find no hair on the Halfling's chest. All hair that was supposed to be there was transported to his feet. He could clearly see his pink nipples on a pale, hairless chest. The Hobbit's body looked exotic to him; a dwarf would never be able to achieve this kind of figure. Dwarves had more muscles on their arms, shoulders and body, not that this Hobbit had none. You could see he ate enough in his life, but he had no big belly. It was rather that his body was nicely curved, which looked amazing.

Bofur wanted to avert his eyes when the Hobbit took off his trousers and underwear in clear discomfort, but couldn't. He had a few seconds to look at the Hobbit's nice legs and his member before Fili and Kili tossed the protesting Hobbit into the water. It took those few seconds to immediately feel the reaction in his body. So even this part of Bilbo was delicate and smooth.

"Should we wash you too, or can you do it yourself?" Kili shouted at the coughing Hobbit who got water in his nose.

"No thank you, I'll manage that myself!" Bilbo grumbled back.

Washing the Hobbit. That meant, touching him. He would get to slide his hands over the smooth and soft skin, starting at the shoulders and slowly moving down over his back, gently massaging him with his thumbs and the tips of his fingers following the muscles. He would pull the Halfling tight against his own body, his hands moving over that hairless and smooth chest, his thumbs then stopping at the pink nipples and circling over them so they would get hard under his touch. His head would rest on the Hobbit's shoulder, so he would be able to lick his neck and hear Bilbo softly moaning into his ear- Bofur was suddenly pulled away from those thoughts by a sharp poke of Kili's elbow.

"Huh? What?" Bofur asked. Kili pointed down at Bofur, grinning. "Don't forget we have to get out soon, Thorin wants to travel a lot today. Just reminding you!"

Bofur blushed and met Fili's eyes, who again winked at him, slyly. Bombur and Bifur also watched him with a grin. Damn. He should really watch his thoughts with everyone around.

* * *

"Hey Bofur, are you coming?" From the edge of the forest Fili shouted towards the camp they had built.

"Aye, I will be there in a moment," Bofur shouted back. Bombur looked up from his stew-pans and spices he was organizing, and so did Bilbo. "You're going to hunt with the brothers?" he asked.

"Aye, I am. We're all hungry, aren't we, so we need lots of fresh meat. They can any help they can get," Bofur explained.

"I see, I wish I could help, but I'm afraid conkers wouldn't bring much meat, right?" Bilbo noted. "But, well, good luck!" Bofur felt his cheeks flush red. He quickly turned around, gathered his weapons and muttered, "Thank ye…"

The sun was on her way down and now was the best time to hunt down some deer and rabbits. They seemed to love sunsets and were always looking for food around this time of the day, so now they would have the biggest chance to get some food. And they needed it fast. Dwalin and Glóin in particular were getting grumpy when hungry. They had been sent to gather suitable wood for a fire.

Kili was the best hunter among all the dwarves, for he was a great archer. Fili was the second best, so often the brothers were chosen to lead the hunting party. All dwarves had their own skills, like Bombur who was the chief cook among the dwarves and Óin and Glóin who built great fires, whatever being the circumstances. Bofur, being a simple toymaker and warrior, tried to help where he could and was often given the first night watch.

He reached Fili at the edge of the forest who started to explain the hunt of today. "Since our arrival has probably scared away many animals, we'll walk some further in the forest. As you probably know, we're looking for deer and rabbits, maybe even a sheep, though I doubt we will find them here. I see you've borrowed throwing axes, that's good." Kili was one of the few dwarves to use a bow; Bofur was more experienced with throwing weapons.

Fili handed over pieces of rope. "I would like you to set up many traps and snares for rabbits, so that we have enough food tomorrow." Bofur was experienced with devices due to his job as a toymaker, so that would be all right. They entered the forest.

"Where is Kili?" Bofur asked. "Oh, Kili always loves to go ahead. If you happen to hear the hoot of a brown owl twice, it means he wants you to come." Bofur glanced at Fili. As the older brother Fili appeared to be a little more mature and serious about things, though still very cheerful and open-minded. Bofur wondered if Fili would be able to clear some things up concerning Hobbits. It didn't matter anymore talking about it, he knew anyway.

"Say, Fili…" Bofur began. Fili glanced at him sideways, smiling his understanding-smile, like he had known Bofur would be asking questions. "Do you understand them Hobbits?" Fili chuckled at the question. "I understand them no more or less than you do, I think." Bofur was a tad disappointed. "So," continued Bofur, "ye also know nothing about their… habits?" Fili was silent for a moment and asked, "Is this about the breakfast thing from this morning, and the bathing perhaps?" "Aye," Bofur replied.

After a while, Fili said, "I don't know. The Halfling has been very timid ever since the beginning of the journey. He seems to have a lot of different habits, and I simply don't know anything about the folk. We may think it weird that he's so private about his body, or has strange eating habits, but he probably thinks the same of us. Often he looks weird at us, but also curious, and he tries to help at least. He's especially helpful for Bombur with cooking. The Hobbit seems to know a lot about food and spicing… and hey, he has gotten better using his letter opener lately, hasn't he?" Fili chuckled.

"That sure is true," Bofur laughed. "I didn't know what came over me when I saw him killing that orc. Never thought he could do it." Bofur had been scared to death when he had seen Bilbo running down the fallen tree. And again, Bofur hadn't been able to do anything to help, for he couldn't let go of the tree. Still, all alone, that little creature had saved Thorin and had earned everyone's respect. Fili thought the same and spoke again, with a serious undertone.

"I think the whole party accepts him more, now that he has showed his courage and loyalty by saving Thorin. I hope he will also feel like he's being more accepted from now on, that he will become less timid and enjoy the group and adventure, feeling less, you know, uncertain of himself. I think he could use some more compliments."

Bofur pondered over Fili's words a lot and just kept looking in front of him. Maybe that was it. Bilbo was maybe slowly beginning to feel like he belonged in the team. Maybe that was why he was acting so weird? When Bofur remained silent, Fili glanced sideways and observed him.

"You don't think deeply very often, do you?"

"Huh, wha?" Bofur responded.

"Just what I mean. You always talk and joke. You've been a lot quieter lately. It's quite notable. You know, I think people like it more if you laugh and talk."

"Then I'll only shout out more things I'll regret, and he will think I'm stupid."

Fili opened his mouth to reply, but bit back his fitting comment. "You know, if you really want to know more about Hobbits, you could always ask our wizard. I heard he knows a lot about them and it looks like he likes our burglar a lot. He chose him after all."

"Aye, that be true, yet ah have heard only riddles from his mouth. He is a nice guy though."

"Good, for I can't help you more at the moment. I will now go this way, and Kili went over there, so if you take the other direction we will cover as much of the forest as we can." Fili pointed out the directions. "Remember the hoots of the brown owl, but just scream if you're in any trouble and we'll find you." Bofur stared at the direction Kili went in. "How did you know Kili went that way?" Fili smiled over his shoulder and replied, "Oh, I know his marks."

* * *

Their belts full with dangling killed rabbits, the three of them were getting near to the camp; in the distance they could already see the light from the campfire. With the sun gone, the forest was very dark. Multiple times Bofur stumbled over roots and stones he did not see. "Are you sure you're all right?" Fili asked. "Aye lad, ah'm fine, she only hit me twice, ah am not hurt."

There was a large rip in Bofur's coat, at his right fore-arm. Still, Bofur smiled for there were two rabbits dangling on his belt, which had been stupid enough to get killed. It would make a nice meal. But he had been stupid to ignore the signs of danger. His mind had been elsewhere.

Just an hour ago, he had seen deer grazing on small field of grass. He had thought it was his lucky day, for a deer would make enough meat for many dwarves and it was more tasty than rabbit. When he had gotten near with his throwing axes in hand, he had encountered a very sweet sight; there were young boars digging the ground with their snouts for food. It was such a sweet sight that he just watched them from a small distance and had even gotten ideas for new wooden toys. He could also present Bilbo some wooden statues. Maybe the Hobbit liked them; he had seen some wooden statues in his house back in the Shire.

But while he had been thinking, he hadn't taken notice of the mother boar. Suddenly he was pulled away from his thoughts by the sound of a very angry animal. Damn. What was standing there was a huge, muscled and very dangerous boar, ready to protect her children. What was it you had to do again in a situation like this? The boar charged at him. _Run. Definitely run._

So he ran, and yelled for Fili and Kili at the same time, going in the direction he thought they had gone. The boar was mad though, for having thought he was approaching her children, and was right on his heels. _Why am I running? I'm a dwarf and a miner, I have slaughtered orcs and goblins, I should be able to fight a boar or two!_

Bofur had turned around and swept his big mining pickaxe at the boar, but was tackled and thrown in the air. _Oh yeah. I forgot that angry boars are stronger than both orcs and goblins. Think mining-carriage with spears!_ As he landed on the ground and quickly turned on his back, he observed with a shock that the boar had also turned around and was now charging at him, helplessly lying on the ground. _Oh by Durin's beard. _As he rolled aside, the boar struck his arm and let him fell a stinging ache in his arm where the tusk hit him. To his relief he saw Fili and Kili running at him, shouting and yelling to divert the boar. This was his chance. Bofur grabbed his fallen pickaxe with his left arm and swung it at the boar's head with all his strength, bringing her down with a loud shriek. The boar then went silent.

"Bofur!" Fili yelled, "Are you okay?!" The brothers fell down next to him, and Kili examined the boar. "Ah'm okay, really, thank ye," Bofur replied.

"It's only unconscious, this boar is still breathing," Kili concluded. "You didn't hit her hard enough. Really, what were you thinking, catching a boar for dinner?"

"Ah didn't want to kill her, she simply attacked me because ah came too close to her babies."

"By Durin's… why would you get close to baby boars? You know the danger, right?"

"Ah was… distracted," Bofur admitted. Kili stared at him in astonishment, then started to laugh. "So you forgot one of the important hunting rules because you were distracted? Oh boy, it'll be a long time before I take you hunting again!" Then Kili began to take action to kill the boar. Bofur stopped him. "Don't kill her, lad."

"Why not? There's much meat on her."

"Because there are still children out there who need her." Bofur smiled at him. "Ah," Kili said, understanding. "It's a shame though." He stood up. "Well, that'll be the first time I ever left such a prey behind."

"We have enough food though," Fili mentioned. "All these rabbits make enough meat for the group. Shall we return? It's getting dark." Bofur was helped up by Fili. His legs would probably hurt tomorrow, for he felt stings exactly where the boar had tackled him.

As they approached the camp, Kili whispered to them, "Hey… Could we keep quiet about the whole boar thing?" Bofur and Fili looked at him in surprise. "Why in Erebor should we?" Bofur asked.

Kili pouted and murmured, "Because I've never left a prey before. It ruins my reputation. Thorin will think I'm soft."

Bofur and Fili looked at each other and burst out laughing. Kili grumbled at them, "Hey, I was being serious!" but then joined them in the laughing. With a lot of meat on them and a cheerful mood they reached the hungry group, the other dwarves soon joining them in their laughter.

* * *

Deep in the night, with the moon high up in the sky, Bofur awoke from a nice dream which had involved a lot of smiles from a particular Hobbit. He thought back of their dinner and Bilbo's reaction. He had cooked for him, together with Bombur, and Bilbo had loved it. He had received many compliments on the cooking and smiles from the little Hobbit. The Halfling had even been concerned over his arm, but Bofur had just said it had only been a mining carriage with spears, and Bilbo had looked at him confused, but then actually laughed. Bofur felt so happy.

He yawned and stretched his arms, rubbing his right fore-arm where the boar had hit him. It was pretty sore. Then he noticed his coat. The rip the boar had made was gone. On the place where the rip had been now a stitching was seen, very neatly done. From a distance, one could not even notice the rip anymore. Bofur looked to his right to find the Hobbit curled up next to him, with needle and thread still in his hands. A huge smile crept over his face at the sight.

_And again, ye did such a sweet thing for me. I hope I'll be able to be of service to you again._

Softly, Bofur took off his coat and spread it over the Hobbit. _So ye won't be cold tonight. _He carefully took the needle and thread out of the Hobbit's hands and placed them safely away. Then he bent over and softly whispered in the Halfling's ear.

"_Thank ye, sweet burglar."_

The last thing he saw before falling asleep again was a smile appearing on the face of a beautiful doll.

* * *

**Another author's note on the chapter:** Well, finally I had the time to finish this chapter! It were supposed to become two chapters actually, but I thought they fit very well together so I combined them in one long chapter. Hope you like the length!

As you may (or may not) have noticed, I put the age of this story to Mature (as you can maybe understand from the bathing descriptions) but I do not yet know if I'm going to include any sex/smut scenes. This totally depends on the development of the story and if I think it's fitting. **Please tell me what you think about that! **Your opinion also helps me, could even inspiring me, but in the end I'll write what I want anyway =P Nonetheless, it helps.

Hope you liked it, if you have any criticism, feel free to leave a comment! :)


	4. Chapter 04-Damn those confusing dwarves

**Author's Note: **Annnnd again sorry for keeping you waiting so long. I already posted the reason on my profile, but let's just say it again; I'm a university student and have exams upcoming at the moment, which leaves me with little time to write ^^'; So I'm really sorry, it couldn't be helped! Also, this chapter is a little short, and I'll do my best to make the next longer... :D

* * *

**The Toymaker and the Doll – Bofur/Bilbo (Boffins)**

**Chapter 04: Damn those confusing dwarves**

_Damn those confusing dwarves._

That's what Bilbo often thought when he discovered another cultural difference between their kinds.

_I wish I was back at Bag End… in my comfortable chair. There everything was simple!_

And how often he wished that! But it was Bilbo's Took side that took over just as often, telling him that he actually liked being able to help and seeing all those wonderful things he had only heard of from stories.

Yes, after coming out of Goblin Town on his own and saving Thorin from the Orcs and Wargs, Bilbo had become a more respected Hobbit and he liked that. He started to feel more comfortable with the dwarves with each passing day, though there were still many moments when he just wanted to be alone to sulk, homesick, wanting to imagine the Shire. He wondered how Gamgee was doing, and if his gardens were still as pretty as they were when he left. He wondered if the Sackville-Bagginses had yet tried to rob his silver spoons. But somehow, every time he wondered and pondered of what Home really was, the image of a kind-looking, broadly smiling dwarf interrupted his thoughts.

And Bilbo didn't know what to think.

Home was there, in the Shire. There, in his chair before the fire in his favourite sitting-room in his hobbit-hole, the kettle singing in his favourite kitchen.

But Home also was there, in the arms of the dwarf he loved so much-

_No, no no! Of course you can't love a dwarf?! They're too different!_

_It's not possible a dwarf could love a hobbit, right?_

And often he pondered over the differences of their cultures. He had heard from Gandalf, well, actually he had asked rather curiously, that Dwarves were short in women. And that dwarves only truly loved once. Gandalf had then asked of Bilbo why on Earth he suddenly was interested in information like that, and Bilbo had turned red and stammered, "Oh no, it's not like, ahum, I, hmhm, was just curious." Gandalf had only smiled at him, his blue eyes sparkling. _Better not ask anything more of him_, Bilbo had thought.

Later on the day, Bilbo had gathered all his courage to ask Glóin, who was considered very handsome among male dwarves, about his wife. After some talking, he had even seen a portrait of her. It was the first time Bilbo had seen a female dwarf, one that was considered very handsome as well. It struck him again there were so many differences in their cultures.

And Bilbo, the thinker as he was, always went away from the dwarves to get some time alone to think.

Now was another such moment he pondered over the answers and information gotten today. Not that he actually thought he made a chance with a dwarf, just for his own confidence. So that his chance to end up with a dwarf actually went up.

_If a dwarf only truly loves once, and there are so few women, doesn't this mean that man-to-man relationships are pretty common among dwarves? _

Bilbo often thought of this. Because what chance would he make if there weren't any man-to-man relationships among dwarves? He was pretty sure Fili and Kili had such a relationship, for as the curious Hobbit he was, he saw and noticed a lot when the brothers thought no one saw or heard. The Company also didn't seem to mind that Fili and Kili were always so close, but maybe that was because they were brothers after all.

_Oh don't be a fool, Bilbo Baggins. Even if dwarf males liked other males, you're nowhere near the kind of person dwarves find attractive. _

_Point 1: You're skinny in their eyes._

_Point 2: Your feet are big in their eyes._

_Point 3: Your hair is too short and curly._

_Point 4: Your skin is way too smooth for their taste._

_Point 5: Probably the killer: You do not have a beard._

_This is so demotivating. _

Bilbo grabbed his hair with two hands and pulled his knees to his chest. He was a little away from the camp, but not far enough. He didn't want the others to worry about him, again, so always kept close.

_Okay, you're a Took. Pull yourself together. _

Bilbo breathed in and out. _That's it. Get some air._

The Company was still on their way to this place Gandalf had recommended. Finally Gandalf had answered Bilbo's question today about where they were headed.

His name was Beorn. He was very strong, and a skin-changer.

Now Bilbo didn't know what a skin-changer was and had gotten pretty nervous about this mysterious person. What a rough day this was. He had also been embarrassed this afternoon by Fili and Kili, undressing him until he was fully naked, in front of the dwarf he liked most. Now everybody got to see his weird body. He felt so tiny next to all these broad dwarven bodies. He just wished he could sink in the ground. _So embarrassing._

_Enough thinking for today._

_This won't help to brighten up your mood at all._

_He always smiles. _

_You too should smile._

_But actually…_

Actually, ever since the night he had tried to sneak away from the cave, before the whole incident in Goblin-town, Bofur had smiled less than he did before. And Bofur seemed to have nightmares. Bilbo didn't know what to do, didn't know how to make him happy again, and was utterly confused. Bofur was supposed to smile.

And Bilbo was now embarrassed to get near Bofur. He was embarrassed he had tried to sneak away, even though the person he loved- _liked! _would still be there, in all kinds of dangers. And Bofur had been so kind to him. Bofur had been the one who always talked with Bilbo, sharing stories and songs, and Bofur was the one that made him feel more on ease and made him miss his Home less. His payment had been trying to sneak away, away from the journey that would bring Bofur to his own Home. Ugly creature he was. So _egoistical_.

_Stop it! _

_Stop thinking, I said._

_Smile, and try to cheer him- them! up. _

_Because that's the only thing you can do right now._

He stood up from his sulking place and brushed the dirt off his trousers, which made no sense for they were so dirty not even the Brandybuck River could wash away the filth. He reached for his handkerchief in his empty pocket which reminded him all his handkerchiefs he had left Home. Still, he managed to bring a smile to his face, by thinking of a comfortable hat, black braided hair, a smile and a strong, warm, cuddly body.

And Bilbo walked towards the bright campfire, thinking on which story he would share this time with the Company.

* * *

**Author's Note: **So yeah, a little short chapter this time! Really, the next one will be longer.

And more fluffy *heart*... watch out for the fluffyness!

~Vixenkiba


	5. Chapter 05 - On Supper and Ale

**Authors Note:** I'm sincerely sorry for not being able to post this chapter sooner, and even more for making people worry I stopped with the story altogether. I can only say it was a mix of university work ánd the fact this chapter just didn't want to get written. I've had to completely write it over because it was just... not good. So I hope it's good now. There will be two more chapters soon!

**The Toymaker and the Doll – Bofur/Bilbo (Boffins)**

**Chapter 05: On Supper and Ale**

At Beorn's Homestead the Company received a most welcome and huge supper; so great that they thought the last good meal had been at Rivendell (that is, the meal they had made at Rivendell from meat stolen from the elves' storage rooms. Of course stolen by Nori. Need you ask?). In the beginning, dwarves like Dwalin and Glóin had been complaining about there being no meat _again_ in this meal, but they were quickly shushed by Gandalf and ate their food almost pouting… Until they found out these vegetables were _delicious._ Beorn and his animals were crowned the most awesome vegetable-cooks ever and cheered on by the Company, under loud harrumphs from Bombur, who quite thought he could _of course_ make his vegetables this great as well. Bilbo laughed at the sight; of course Bombur didn't like animals being chosen as better cooks over himself, but the big dwarf was eating his share of food with a face showing delight and enjoying it very much. Even Ori, who had complained about not liking green food, happily took _this_ green food in his mouth.

And Bilbo was really surprised to find himself stuffed when he had finished his third plate. _Really? A Hobbit? Stuffed..?! Certainly not possible… _Bilbo sank deep away in his way-too-big chair, nuzzling between the cushions and furs, drifting in a deep sleep, full and warm…

In his dream, he was on the back of an eagle again. The difference was that this time it wasn't scary. The sun was setting on the horizon, the air coloured various tints of red and orange, and far, far away he could make out the shape of the Lonely Mountain. Suddenly Bilbo felt warm arms hugging him tight and a whisker brushing against his right cheek, and Bofur was behind him, smiling at the sight of the Mountain. _Home. That's where Home is, Bilbo. That's where we're going to! _Bilbo nuzzled back against him, making himself comfortable in the strong arms, rubbing his nose against Bofur's cheek.

But then Bilbo heard another voice. This voice was deep as well, like Bofur's, but where Bofur's voice was always cheerful and full of laughter, this voice was serious, but also kind. The grip of the arms around Bilbo's chest tightened as well, like the arms had suddenly become more muscular. Bilbo didn't feel whiskers against his cheek anymore and cautiously he peered at the face above him.

_Yes Bilbo, that is Erebor. That's the Home we will take back and then I'll be King under the Mountain. I would gladly have you at my side, Bilbo Baggins.  
_Oh no. What was Thorin doing in his dream? Why was Thorin behind him, pressing him against his body? _What was going on here?!_

Bilbo awoke with a little yelp, startled from the sound of a door slamming closed. His eyes flashed around the room. Where was he again? Slowly he remembered Beorn and the supper. He must have fallen asleep after that. He still felt so full.

Bilbo wiped a few sweat drops from his forehead using his sleeve, since he again failed at finding a handkerchief in his pocket while reaching for it automatically.

_Am I lucky I woke up from that dream.  
Why the heck did I even dream that?_

Beorn wasn't to be found inside the house anymore. Bilbo figured out Beorn must have left just now, which was the reason he had woken up. _Thank Beorn for that…_

Bilbo wanted to forget about the whole dream and looked at the dwarves sitting around the big fire place, laughing and singing and chattering. The fire was warm and bright, making the house comfortable for everyone. The dwarves were wearing two layers of clothing now instead of three, which was very unusual. Bofur laughed the hardest just now, probably joking around with his brother and Bilbo felt his body warm up at the sight. He was so happy to see Bofur smiling openly again.

But Bilbo was almost shocked when he found Thorin laughing out loud with Fili and Kili. _Well, THAT is new!_ _I didn't even know he could laugh like that… Always thought his lips were so tight he couldn't widen them up. Huh.  
__Stop staring at his face._

Looking at Thorin's face, laughing just like Bofur, made him remember his dream and feel really ashamed of himself.

_Why can't my own dreams keep loyal to one person?  
__I like the Toymaker, so why couldn't Thorin stay out of my dream?  
__Wait.  
__Am I admitting I don't want Thorin to intrude?  
__Am I actually admitting I like Bofur really much?  
__Damn it.  
__And you know you shouldn't think too highly of your chances anyway.  
__So stop it._

And Thorin couldn't even be trusted anyway! Bilbo didn't like Thorin's change in attitude at all! The dwarf had been _so _rude to him in the beginning, to the point that Bilbo couldn't take it anymore and had thought of sneaking away in the night… Thorin had made him think he didn't belong with them. Thorin had made him leave. And Bofur had tried to stop him.

_I am so sorry, Bofur.  
__I didn't want to leave you, but I felt so awful.  
__I didn't think I had a chance with you anyway.  
__There was nothing left for me.  
__And yet you have always been there for me. Cheering me up, talking to me, listening to me and my rants and whines._

When Bilbo felt down, Bofur would sit next to him and chatter. Just chatter. About happy things. Bofur let Bilbo tell stories about the Shire, asked Bilbo what he liked, told him stories and fairy tales only dwarves could tell so well. Bilbo thought of Bofur as a great friend. But he wanted more… And that made him afraid.

Bilbo watched Thorin again and frowned. He didn't understand the situation at all. He was so confused.

Ever since Bilbo had saved Thorin from the orc, on their whole way from the Carrock to Beorn's homestead, Thorin's attitude had drastically changed towards him. It had started with the awkward threatening-but-not-meaning-anything-of-it hug, and had continued on their way. With each hour, Thorin had grown milder. Thorin asked him how he was doing. Thorin thanked him for the breakfast he had made. Thorin had watched him intensely when being stripped from his clothes by the brothers at the river, eyeing him up and down, and showing no shame over it. No, Thorin had even tried to start a _conversation_ with him, _no really! _This had been really awkward, because Bilbo didn't know what to talk about with Thorin, so he asked him about Erebor instead. The result was hours of stories about the in-and-outs (mostly in's) of Erebor, and because Bilbo didn't want to be rude, he kept asking on, and commented with _Oh! _and _I see! _and _Hmhm!_ at the right moments. And Bofur was just behind them, and Bilbo wanted to talk with Bofur so much… but couldn't. Fili and Kili exchanged confused looks at the sight of Thorin and Bilbo walking side to side. Bofur kept a close eye on the two. But Bilbo didn't notice. And this went on and on.

Bilbo was awake now and didn't feel sleepy anymore. He stretched and stood up to sit down closer to the fire, in the midst of the jokes and joy. Bilbo was being accepted now in the Company as one of their own and would happily sit down with them to listen to the stories- and maybe even telling some of his own. Sadly, he didn't have any stories of brave warriors and dwarves, but he did know a lot about his ancestors and loved to amaze the dwarves with stories of his great-great-great-grand-uncle Bullroarer Took, who was so large he could ride a real horse. Of course, nobody had believed him when he told the story, but luckily Gandalf had interfered and told even more stories about Bullroarer Took, for he had known the Hobbit in real person. The dwarves had eyed Bilbo sheepishly (Why're you so small then? Kili had asked) and Bilbo had almost beamed from proudness. Since then, the dwarves had listened to his stories in awe.

Only later it became clear to Bilbo that the dwarves had other ideas about stories this evening.

As Bilbo sat down, he saw to his joy Bofur stood up and sat down next to him, swinging his arm around his shoulders. Bilbo was caught in surprise at this and then noticed that Bofur's face was red. Actually, all the dwarves' faces were red. There were also particularly many bottles lying on the ground. Mead. Wine. Ale. And alcoholic drinks Bilbo didn't even want to know what was inside. Actually he did. He liked a good drink every now and then. Bofur shoved a large mug full of ale in his hand, as if he had read his thoughts and Bilbo flushed red, his heart skipping a beat, and he drank it eagerly, only to choke in his hurry so that all dwarves now laughed at him. From the corner of his eye he saw Thorin slowly standing up and casually walking towards him. The next moment Thorin was at his other side, and suddenly their legs touched and Thorin placed his arm behind Bilbo, slightly touching his back.

_Oh by my great Ancestors.  
__Why am I suddenly sitting between Bofur and Thorin?  
__I mean, I don't mind Bofur, but…  
__And where the heck does he think he's touching?!  
_Bilbo thought as Thorin 'accidently' touched his butt.

All dwarves filled their mugs with alcohol, to cheer on the evening. Bilbo held his mug high in the air and cheered with Bofur, getting alcohol over his face in the action, and they drank. Bilbo couldn't swallow all at once; the mugs were clearly Beorn-sized. Bilbo wondered if this was such a good idea. And Bilbo watched in shock at empty kegs and bottles on the floor; _by the Old Toby, just _how much_ alcohol can these dwarves _have _before getting totally wasted?! _That was no small amount of alcohol. Compressed between two dwarves, Bilbo now _really _wondered if this was such a good idea. Especially when he heard what they had been talking about.

_First times.  
__Why does the conversation have to be about first times._

It began with Kili talking to Fili about his first time (_that was with Fili, for sure_). The conversation had been just between them, both flushed red from being tipsy, until Fili raised his voice.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," he had said _just _too loud. "_You_ hurting? What do you think of me, when that fat dick was shoved inside of me without taking care of lubrication properly first? Now, you shouldn't be complaining!"

Kili laughed. "Hahaha! So now I've got you! You just admitted mine's bigger than yours!"

"Oh nonsense!" Fili threw back at his brother. "Not bigger, only fatter! And besides, you're just tighter than me."

Ori listened eagerly, all big ears, intending not to miss any detail, while Dori tried to divert him from the prince brothers. To no avail. Dori eventually tried to shush the dwarves, but was ignored, and other dwarves started to talk about how big _they_ had taken once in their life, and after some time the dwarves all had their own story ready about their first time. Only dwarves with some dignity left, like Thorin and Balin, kept their mouths wisely shut.

It struck Bilbo that the dwarves weren't prudish about these secrets _at all_ when they had drunk enough. Yes. It must have been the alcohol. Bilbo didn't really mind though, for he was somehow enjoying the stories, and he learned a lot. So apparently male-on-male sex wasn't all _that_ uncommon, and the Company seemed to _know_ about Fili and Kili and didn't seem to mind their relationship. They all laughed and cheered each other on to tell more.

Every dwarf was telling his own story now with the whole group listening. Nori talked about how young he had been when he had his first time, to a great irritation of Dori, who grunted and tried to cover Ori's ears.

_Why am I enjoying this so much again?  
__Oh well, do I care?  
__Hmm, this ale is quite good… yet not as good as Michel's Delving's Bests.  
_Bilbo hadn't smiled this much in weeks.

He nearly choked on his ale again when Bofur coughed and started his story with a huge smile.

"Well, it happened when I was a young'un still," he began. "Ah was just appointed as a miner and had gotten my first task and mining pick. Ah was so proud to finally be able to get to work. Anyhow. You probably all don't know, because ya're all higher in standing than a commoner like me, but in the mines it gives many subrankings as well. And I, as a green, new miner, was of course considered a newbie, and apparently the Supervisors, as they called themselves, had to show me where I stood between them. There, in the mines of Erebor, I was taken for the first time, hard and rough, by five dwarves." Ori let out a loud _Oh! _and some other dwarves looked at Bofur with big eyes. Others, like Nori and Dwalin, smiled and laughed, and luckily Bofur laughed as well. "Don't be scared, it was pretty nice actually. After that, it seemed like I had proved to be one of theirs, being able to take so much at a first time, and I got quite respected over time. I became one of them 'supervisors' as well, and even climbed in ranking, becoming their chef of that part of the mines at some point. Those years were a great deal of fun!"

"Harrumph," went Glóin, "I would never have allowed my employees to behave like that, be it in a mine or anywhere else! It's good I didn't know of this at the time, I would surely dealed with that kind of behaviour during work!"

Bilbo looked from Bofur to Glóin, but it seemed Glóin didn't really mean it; under his beard, clearly a smile could be seen. Bofur laughed with the others. "Yeah sure, Glóin!" he continued. "Don't tell me you've never been naughty like that! Those were the young years! Years of fun!"

Glóin harrumphed a little more serious now. "My first and my last have been and will be my wife. I have never needed anything more than her."

"_Don't ya think it would become boring?_" Nori whispered in Bofur's ear. "For you, maybe," Bofur answered with a smile. "Can't imagine you married, really." Nori laughed at that. "You may cut off my eyebrows the day I get married," he snickered.

"But really," he continued, nudging Bofur in his side. "_Miners?_ You could've simply gone to a bar, if you had known me at the time I could've shown you some great ones."

"You never tried a miner?"

"The ones I tried were too inexperienced."

"Oh. I can't remember you. Must've been other miners then."

Nori suddenly took eyesight of Bilbo who had listened open mouthed to Bofur and Nori talking, and a large shark-smile crept over his face.

"So, why don't we let the Hobbit tell us his story now?" Nori added to the group. "He's the last person to join us. He's been quietly listening all this time!"

"Bilbo," Bofur added, "He's called Bilbo.'" He winked at Nori. Nori only shrugged but kept urging Bilbo.

Bilbo felt Thorin tense next to him, suddenly remembering that dwarf was also still at his side. Other dwarves started to urge him too to tell a story. Bilbo felt himself smile.

_Oh and why the heck not.  
__Why is this so much fun?_

Suddenly Thorin coughed and spoke, "I don't think Mister Baggins would like to join these conversations very much. Please stop urging him."

_What the…?  
__Oh no you don't!  
__You will not decide what I tell and what I don't!_

"Actually," Bilbo started, raising his voice, "I would love to add my story to the group, if you all want!" He slugged down the remaining ale in one gulp and shoved the mug in Bofur's hand, who had it quickly filled again. Fili and Kili bent closer to Bilbo, faces beaming with joy. Dori turned his face away. Thorin tensed even more next to him. Bilbo didn't care and went on.

"You were all quite impressed about taking five at a time, but, and I don't want to brag, thank you very much, but I bet _you _never had six different people in one night. And some of them even took doubles, but I won't count that for now. But anyways, my first time was with some cousins on the Took side and their friends. We always played around a lot, and me and my best friend were the two youngest. At one time, we were starting to learn about our bodies and sex and we got to watch two older cousins fucking each other in the meadow. After many times of watching on the clear day, one of them asked me if I wanted to try it. It felt so messy and weird, but after many times of trying, I got used to the feeling and stretching and it started to feel so nice."

"Well, well," Dwalin said, grinning, "I had never expected that from such a 'respectable' Hobbit as you say to be, _Mister _Baggins."

"Well, and a respectable Hobbit I am, but this was before my coming-of-age, so it didn't matter. And the parents surely didn't know of this. But it happens a lot between Hobbit lads…"

"Then what about the lasses?" Fili asked.

"Huh? Oh. Never tried that out, actually."

"Really? Never?" Kili asked surprised.

"Nah. I've never been interested in them actually."

Bilbo felt Bofur look at him. "So, what about male-male relationships then?"

"They hardly occur between Hobbits. Actually, I know no couple like that. I don't know, it's… not considered done."

"A shame," Fili said, the other dwarves nodding.

For many hours, this conversation went on, and while somehow the dwarves didn't get drunk, Bilbo's memories stopped at some point. In the morning, Bilbo wouldn't know when he had fallen asleep, and wouldn't be able to remember all details of the greatly interesting conversation. He would wake with a terrible headache, only to fall asleep once again, not being able to bear the light. All the dwarves would laugh at him, but leave him alone. Hours later, when he would wake up, he would find out his body was covered with two coats; one from Bofur, which smelled awesome, and one from Thorin, which surprised him very much. His headache would still be big, but he would smile, for he had gotten to know a great many things about dwarves last night. And his heart would make a little jump, for he knew for certain that dwarves wouldn't be awkward about male-male relationships at all.


End file.
